I hear over and over again men and women saying 'their sex life is unsatisfactory' almost as if it is their partner to blame. Believe me, if your sex life is dull and hopeless you are just as much to blame as your partner. The major fault with successful sex is that each person expects the other to titivate and excite and do not realise sex is a two player game. One person waiting for the other to start is a bad beginning.

Far better for you be the one that starts the interplay that is the mating. Take a lesson from the birds and the animals.

It is only man who suddenly gets the urge and jumps the female and then has the audacity to get upset when she is not ready for him. The animal kingdom play a complicated mating ritual that firstly has the male alerting the female with his desire and actually continuing until she responds or is at least aware that he is interested. He preens, dances, makes sounds and actually almost makes a fool of nimself doing all he can to alert her to his charms.

If she turns him down and trots off, he does not jump her or yell at her or berate her for not being at his disposal. Take the message from the lizards and the birds and do this.. play up to her with some suggestive attentive movements that you know she likes.. kiss her, be tender, rub her body gently with oils, play music and feed her treats, tell her she turns you on, play up to her until she responds. Then take your time with foreplay.

Extend the loving, continue the caressing and continue the tenderness. It won't be long before you have a sizzling love affair on your hands. Read something about Tantric Sex.. prolonging anticipation and the sex act. Learn the arts of Oriental pleasures.

Use settings for creativity... a scented bath, outdoors in the moonlight, a midnignt picnic on a private beach with a campfire, furry rugs by a fire, or candle-lit dinners wearing formal clothes. Why persist with nightgowns and bedrooms and drunken or drugged situations of incompetence? Look for the different and the different will look for you.. Seasuality is in your hands...literally.